he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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