areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
