We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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