So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your cock deserves a montage
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
