I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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