Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
