how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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