Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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