At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i dont even know how to be here
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
