He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
