my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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