do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize