i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Hippo gnu deer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
