READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
