Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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