That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
