dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
