I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
