He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
