im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize