porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
