went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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