I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
