so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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