I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend