So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's blow job season.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize