"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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