whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
