idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
