Me. At least after what I've been through.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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