# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
