Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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