Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
