ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
