You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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