I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so explain again why im purple
no
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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