Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
