When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
