What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
