you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
