Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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