My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
