I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
