have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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