dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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