dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
