i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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