sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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