I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
