Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
smell my finger.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
