office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
