Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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