The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
