Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
