He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
