There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
