wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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