hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
