Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize