Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
