I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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