I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
