So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize