I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
