last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
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Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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