You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!