she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.