I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
