My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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