3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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