why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
